Battling Lyme, one slice at a time.
My parents, in their infinite selfishness and ignorance, have decided I’m more lazy and irresponsible than chronically ill, so they’ve kicked me out of their house and cut me off from expenses.
I’ll be going to stay with a longtime good friend of mine in Florida, so I have a place to stay. However, I have absolutely no money for even the essentials like food, let alone even treatment (which I’ll have to stop indefinitely). Below is a simple way for you to donate to help me land on my feet until I can find a very part-time job just to get by (I’m not even sure I’ll be able to do it but I have to try.) If you donate as little as $5, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks and happy healing!
To start, the good news is Zoey is home and in very good spirits. However, the bad news is that some unexpected complications arose yesterday in surgery. When the orthopedic vet opened her up, the extent of the damage to her hip joint and growth plate was quite severe, much more so than he had anticipated. He immediately could tell that every time she had moved her leg, even in the slightest, it was grinding away at the bone, leaving less and less of the actual joint and growth plate to fix. He ended up calling in the middle of the surgery informing us of the situation and advising that he now go ahead with the last resort — complete removal of the hip joint. The procedure is called a femoral head ostectomy (FHO) in which the femoral head and neck are removed from the femur (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femoral_head_ostectomy). Prior to surgery, when the plan was still to use pins to realign the joint, the vet gave us the impression that FHO is a life-changing last resort with consequences that would leave her far from 100% for the rest of her life. However, (even more) good news is that this is not the case. FHO is actually a somewhat common procedure in animals, especially in smaller dogs whose legs do not need to support as much weight as other larger breeds. Immediately many people think the leg just flops around since the leg bone no longer connects to the hip. But there is still plenty of muscle, tendons, and ligaments to support the leg. And eventually fibrous scar tissue will grow into the cavity forming a pseudo joint that actually works quite well. If all goes well during her recovery and rehabilitation, there is no reason why Zoey can’t get back to 100% in as little as two to three months.
She’s already allowed to walk and is doing better than I had expected so soon after surgery. The recovery and rehabilitation process for an FHO is radically different than most other procedures. They encourage use of the leg right away because the body will not build back up a part of itself that is not being used. In only three days, rehab exercises at home will begin and we will return weekly to VOSM for further rehab. There they will assess her progress and give more rehab exercises for homework. In as little as four weeks, she could be doing underwater therapy, which they say is one of the best ways to build back muscle.
That’s all for now. I’ll continue to update my blog on her progress. Thanks for all the support!
After Zoey not only failed to improve but actually got worse Thursday into Friday, favoring her leg even more so despite still being on pain meds and appearing noticeably in more pain, our regular veterinarian referred us to Veterinary Orthopedic Sports Medicine Group (VOSM) in Annapolis. They are nationally recognized for their human approach to animal orthopedics and sports medicine.** We were able to get in immediately and had an appointment this morning at 9 am. After all is said and done, there’s some good news and some bad news.
Zoey's X-ray
The bad news is that Zoey requires major reconstructive surgery to realign her growth plate into the hip joint. If she doesn’t have this surgery, she would develop serious complications and arthritis in the future. Note the X-ray to the right, where the left hip has been circled in red. You can clearly see the difference between her right and left. She’s been scheduled for a Tuesday procedure where one to two smooth pins will be inserted into the femoral head to reposition everything into its proper place. The good news is that if all goes well she will make a nearly 100% recovery and can go on to live a normal life as if nothing had ever happened. She will even be able to do agility. However, major surgery is not without risk of complications. Besides the always minor risks of infection or problems with anesthesia, the most important risk is movement of the pins during her recovery. If this occurs, they may or may not need to be removed. Removal often only results from over exertion however. And even if they require removal, she can still make a 100% recovery. But she has her age on her side. Being a puppy, her body is still in “growth” and therefore also “heal” mode. Barring any complications, recovery only takes six to eight weeks.
I must say VOSM lives up to the hype. They run a state-of-the-art hospital, complete with rubberized flooring to prevent slipping, no-step weight scales, bedding in place of the generic steel tables, and staff and doctors with the knowledge and utmost care for animals. Here’s a couple pictures of Zoey while we were there. Look at her being a little champion! (Click to see them bigger.)
Thanks for all the thoughts and well-wishing!
**It’s interesting and quite ironic to note that an aunt of mine that lives in Florida runs her dogs in agility. She’s semi-famous in the dog world for how well she competes with her border collie JJ. However, just a week or two ago, JJ suffered a possibly career-ending injury. In trying to diagnose and treat his injury, her veterinarian had her consult with VOSM over the phone. I’m fairly certain she even consulted with the same doctor who saw Zoey.
Sorry I’ve been MIA from my blog for the longest time. I’ve been extremely out of it mentally and physically and I’ve had absolutely no desire whatsoever to write a new post. Like with so many other things, I’ve had some great ideas to make this blog much better and get it out there more but my obstacles with Lyme always seem to get in the way. Nevertheless, here I am making an effort.
As much as I would like to talk about all the symptoms and weird shit I’ve been experiencing, I’m going to refrain from that as it would literally be too exhausting for me. Instead, I’d like to just talk about an incident that happened yesterday with my puppies, specifically Zoey.
Being a government holiday, my dad had off work and decided to take Zoey and Darcy to the groomers since they were looking quite ratty and hadn’t been bathed in a while. This was their first trip to the groomers (and our third overall using them). I had bathed them at home when they were younger but in the past month or two their adult double-layer coats have come in more and I don’t know the proper steps to cleaning it and, even more so, drying it. So off they went bright and early yesterday morning. I was feeling a bit nervous, especially for Zoey who is the more stereotypical timid sheltie, but even for outgoing Darcy because they absolutely hate water.
They seemed to be taking longer than expected and we later realized they were extremely busy because of the holiday. When they were finally finished, one of the girls in the back carried Zoey to the counter. I’m still not sure, based on what we learned later, if this was a deliberate measure to hide what happened. My dad carried them out to the car, not suspecting a thing. When he got home, I watched from inside the house as he picked them up out of the car and set them on the ground. I immediately noticed that they did look very clean but I watched as Zoey just stood there next to the car where she was placed, not budging. This is quite unusual for her as she’s very playful first thing out of the car, especially when she knows she’s home. She had a look of pain and almost terror on her face and I knew something was wrong. My dad noticed it too and I watched as he picked her back up and carried her into the house. She would not put ANY weight on her back left foot and made no attempt to walk either. We examined the foot, thinking maybe they clipped the toenails too close or accidentally cut part of the pad. Nothing showed any sign of this. When I picked her up using one of my hands under her bottom, she cried out in pain. I realized that it seemed to do more with her actual leg than just the foot. It took her quite some time to find a comfortable position in my lap.
My mom immediately called the vet and had an appointment scheduled in an hour and a half. She then called the groomers. She politely explained what had gone on since the puppies had gotten home and asked if anything had happened and that maybe they forgot to tell us. The lady on the other end was overly polite and said nothing had happened. The groomer asked if “we’d keep an eye on it” and my mom immediately interrupted her saying it was already too severe and that we would be going to our vet shortly. The woman went on to say that they would pay for any vet bills but my mom explained that it wasn’t about the money but about the truth.
When we got to the vet, his initial reaction was that she had torn a ligament or damaged cartilage. We left her there to get X-rays and got a phone call an hour later…
Our veterinarian said that there was some minor cartilage damage, something he was not too concerned about. HOWEVER, what really concerned him was displacement between two growth plates at her hip joint, a clear indication of a severe FALL. He went on to say that this is something that cannot be fixed and can have permanent repercussions for her down the line. As an amateur dog trainer, I know that growth plates do not finish fully forming until a dog is a year to a year and a half old. Puppy owners must be very careful that their puppies do not fall or continually jump off of furniture because it only takes one incident to cause severe damage. I am planning on running Darcy and Zoey in agility and I know that you must wait until they are old enough for the same reasons.
We took Zoey home last night with anti-inflammatory medication and instructions to keep her still and from moving. If she is not better by Friday, our vet has advised us to see an orthopedic doctor.
I am beyond shocked at this point. I can’t even begin to think that Zoey could have permanent damage that could most likely lead to severe arthritis and other problems in the near future. I’m even more shocked that the groomers, an established business with their own associated animal hospital (not our vet), would seemingly lie straight to our faces about any incident taking place. Based on what our vet said, there is a very clear indication that something did in fact happen and not something that could have easily been overlooked.
Zoey being a great little traveler.
Please keep little Zoey in your thoughts. Thanks.
Slice
You won’t hear me moaning for flesh or a taking a bite out of an unsuspecting victim but more often than not I feel like a “zombie.” It really is the best way to describe it. I stumble around like I’ve nearly lost all motor function and I’m always looking a mess and disheveled. But most of all I don’t feel like myself anymore. My mind is all convoluted and I’m consistently forgetting things. I easily lose focus and can’t keep track of the most basic things. I get lost driving to places I’ve been hundreds of times. I can’t even keep up with this blog like I want.
Being a Lyme zombie sure ain’t fun but maybe it will help me win AMC’s “The Walking Dead” contest to get a stagger-on/walk-on role as a zombie.
Girl Talk's new album All Day
After two and half years of fans waiting patiently, Girl Talk, the stage name of mashup master Gregg Gillis, released his new album Monday titled All Day. Using his own label Illegal Art, he’s released it as a free download from the Illegal Art website (http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/). It’s actions like this, and having concert prices for $25, that really shows how much Gillis is in touch with his fans. He’s no longer the underground computer mixer he once was but he hasn’t let the fame or money get to him. You still can’t hear his music on the radio or download it on iTunes (that has to do with rights more than anything) but his popularity is ever-increasing. Yet, he hasn’t let it break the bonds he shares with his fans. I mean, who else as popular (or more so) takes the chance of letting fans on stage during shows? Yes, it’s easier to do so when you’re a one-man-one-instrument (a Panasonic Toughbook) set but nevertheless it’s still a huge risk. It can lead to Gillis possibly getting injured or equipment getting broken. In 2009, one such incident almost split Gillis with tour manager David Scheid when they came to my own West Virginia University for FallFest, the annual back-to-school concert. In Girl Talk’s latest documentary of his 2009 New Year’s Eve show in Chicago, Scheid talks about one of only two times Gillis has cussed at him. Scheid explains that it should have been a “perfect” show as the stage was “solid,” but with not enough security and tons of fans on stage, Gillis was getting really “f***ed up.” When Scheid got out there with some water, Gillis immediately told him, “Dude, I’m getting killed out here!” They exchanged harsh words and it almost led Scheid to quit. (On behalf of WVU, I’d like to apologize to Gillis and Scheid for that. We’re known for going hard and it’s a shame they may have bad memories of the show.) Yet, the few incidents like these never hinder Girl Talk in going above and beyond in connecting with his fans at live shows.
As it says on the site, “All Day is intended to be listened to as a whole.” And such advice, straight from the source, should always be heeded. So download it now if you haven’t already and give it a good listen. Trust me. It’s worth it.
Slice.
Earlier today I watched “The Exorcism of Emily Rose.” I think it’s a great scary movie and it always manages to terrify the shit out of me. I’ll go into more detail later about my day but let’s just say it gave me a great idea for a post. So in honor of All Hallows’ Eve, I thought it appropriate to go into detail about some of the literally terrifying symptoms I’ve had with Lyme.
One of the first truly scary symptoms I discovered was the sensation of things crawling all over me. I first noticed the troubling feeling sometime in March and April. It first started out at night. I was already having enough problems falling asleep and then staying asleep. I would be laying in bed, tired and worn out but with the worst insomnia. And then the next thing I know I feel a bug crawling on my legs. I freak out a bit and jerk in bed but feel and see nothing. A few minutes later it happens again. Because I was always so tired, it didn’t occur to me at first that this was another symptom. It wasn’t until two or three weeks later after it had gotten progressively worse, occurring more often and now during the day, that the light bulb went off. My LLMD prescribed a muscle relaxant to be taken in increasing doses over a course of a few weeks to allow my body to adjust to it and gain the full effect of the drug. At first it worked well. I was sleeping better and waking feeling refreshed. Soon after, however, my body got used to the drug and I maxed out the amount I could take at night. Eventually the drug lost its potency and left me feeling extremely groggy and foggy every morning. We experimented with other muscle relaxants, one which actually made the symptoms much, much worse and another which eventually lost its ability like the first. So now I live with the feeling, something I’ve gotten used to much like the pain and stiffness (I have a very high tolerance to pain and now that I’m used to it, sometimes I even have to think about it to realize it hurts.)
The scary symptoms get worse with mild to moderate hallucinations. Yes, for all those healthy readers out there, I said it — hallucinations. For me, it started some time in June. At first, it was very mild – lights, colors, floaters. I’d see a certain color and then a blob of an opposite color would float over it. I’d look at something orange and see teal blobs dancing. Eventually the hallucinations got worse. I was sitting at my computer losing focus when I see something out of the corner of my eye, a dark figure. I turn and it disappears. I think nothing of it. It’s a common occurrence for your eyes to play tricks on you. But very soon after, it started happening more often. And the more it happened, the more I would turn and look, the more it would still be there. Talk about scary! At night when it was dark I started noticing I would see shadows and figures and things I knew weren’t there but wouldn’t go away the longer I looked. I knew my eyes were playing tricks on me but it was 10x worse than anything I had experienced before I was sick. Lately it has gotten better but it hasn’t completely gone away. The shadows are still there, haunting the corners of my eyes.
Lastly I’ll end with not a sensation like touch or sight but with a feeling…a feeling a paranoia. This one I’ve had since the beginning. I have frequent panic attacks and the little things often freak me out now. I’ll skip the progression of this one and give you a glimpse into my day. So as I said I decided to watch “The Exorcism of Emily Rose.” I was by myself (my mom was upstairs asleep) but it was early afternoon, so completely light out. Nothing to freak out about, right? Who am I kidding! Five seconds into the movie and they cue the subtle, creepy music. I’ve seen the movie a few times before so I know what I’m going into. And because of that, I’m not a minute in and I’m already paranoid. The whole movie my heart is racing, my adrenaline is pumping, and I’m going crazy. This is a feeling I used to enjoy. I love being scared. I admit I scare easily but I’m no baby. I love it! Except this was different. It was ten times worse, like the hallucinations. What was once a quick jump here and there and slight eerie feeling throughout turned into a full-blown freak out. What was I thinking watching this movie! The rest of the day I was extremely paranoid. I tried taking a nap before puppy training class but I kept waking up every ten minutes. I was going crazy! Suffice it to say, my puppies and I didn’t make it to class. This paranoia was killing me. I was so exhausted! After my terrible attempt at a nap, I was sitting at my computer when Darcy yawned from inside her crate. She made this high pitch shriek that sent me over the edge. I literally jumped out of the chair, knocking it over and falling down.
Now I’m back to normal and feeling much better. I watched DWTS and that seemed to calm me down quickly. (Yes, I did just say I watched DWTS tonight.)
So maybe this year I should dress up as a bacterium or a tick because Lyme really is one scary disease!
Slice.
Wednesdays I now look forward to as I recently picked up piano lessons again. I even decided to add voice for the first time which has been great. But today will mark the third time in only eight weeks that I had to cancel due to overwhelming symptoms. Today felt like a relatively average day with Lyme for me, a feeling I’ve gotten so used to that I often call them “good” days but they are far from it. About an hour before I had to leave, I hit the proverbial brick wall. I completely shut down. The fog rolled in. I could barely stand without feeling fatigued and worn out. I crawled into bed, sent a text off to my teacher, and crashed…hard. I just woke up, which means I got about five hours of terrible sleep.
The insomnia and sleepless nights are finally catching up with me. I need at least 12 hours of sleep to feel rested and anything less is an easy ticket to a bad day. You don’t even want to know how little sleep I got last night. I get into these cycles of sleeplessness, which only exacerbate my already numerous symptoms. The pain and fatigue only serve to continue and worsen the insomnia, so the cycle continues. Here’s to hoping I can break the cycle soon.
Slice.
It is difficult to pinpoint a good place to start my first entry. I find myself constantly distracted, confused, overwhelmed. Most healthy people reading this won’t understand the struggle I face trying to write this, even when I am only three sentences into my first post. At every pause, I can feel the difficulty. My mind wonders often and staying focused is a challenge in and of itself. Once focused, I fight to conceptualize my thoughts. Before I know it, I’m lost again and I haven’t formulated a single phrase. I fight through it and somehow manage to write something. It doesn’t sound right. It’s awkward and confusing. I know people won’t understand what I’m trying to say, so I go back and try to correct it. This makes me even more confused, even more frustrated. I have an intense desire to delete all of this and start over.
Before Lyme I was an exceptional student and writer. Now it takes me several minutes just to finish each of these sentences. This alone frustrates me. But above all else, what I find to be even more frustrating is that my inability to properly convey my thoughts into words will leave me feeling unaccomplished and unsatisfied. My point in writing this is to bring some awareness and clarity to my own personal struggle and maybe then to the broader challenges all who suffer from Lyme disease face. But if I struggle to meet my own expectations, how do I know my audience is truly understanding the gravity of this disease? I hope that what I can say is sufficient enough to have some sort of impact, no matter how small. I know in my heart that because I am present, here and now, trying in whatever capacity I can to reach out to others and shed some light on Lyme that someday I will make a difference.
Slice
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